Share on WeChat
https://www.powervoter.us:443/gordon_allen_pross
Copy the link and open WeChat to share.
 Share on WeChat
Copy the link and open WeChat to share.
 Share on WeChat
Scan QRCode using WeChat,and then click the icon at the top-right corner of your screen.
 Share on WeChat
Scan QRCode using WeChat,and then click the icon at the top-right corner of your screen.

Gordon Allen Pross

R
Quick Facts
Personal Details

Education

  • BA, Political Science, Central Washington University, 2000
  • Attended, Political Science, Central Washington University, 1993
  • Attended, Yakima Valley Community College, 1975-1976

Professional Experience

  • BA, Political Science, Central Washington University, 2000
  • Attended, Political Science, Central Washington University, 1993
  • Attended, Yakima Valley Community College, 1975-1976
  • President/Chief Executive Officer/Full Corporate Offer, Gordon 4-M-J Nation
  • Employee, Washington Department of Agriculture, Japanese Ministries of Fisheries, Forestry, and Agriculture, 1994
  • Served, United States Army, Aviation Division, 1983-1987
  • Construction Worker, Joel Smith Family Log Home, 1983
  • Cutter Iron Worker, Mountain Aire Wood Stoves, 1978
  • Hay Buck, Frank Gregerich and Sons, 1975-1977
  • Fire Fighter, Federal Forest Service, 1971-1972

Political Experience

  • BA, Political Science, Central Washington University, 2000
  • Attended, Political Science, Central Washington University, 1993
  • Attended, Yakima Valley Community College, 1975-1976
  • President/Chief Executive Officer/Full Corporate Offer, Gordon 4-M-J Nation
  • Employee, Washington Department of Agriculture, Japanese Ministries of Fisheries, Forestry, and Agriculture, 1994
  • Served, United States Army, Aviation Division, 1983-1987
  • Construction Worker, Joel Smith Family Log Home, 1983
  • Cutter Iron Worker, Mountain Aire Wood Stoves, 1978
  • Hay Buck, Frank Gregerich and Sons, 1975-1977
  • Fire Fighter, Federal Forest Service, 1971-1972
  • Candidate, United States House of Representatives, Washington, District 10, 2020
  • Candidate, United States House of Representatives, Washington, District 8, 2018
  • Candidate, United States House of Representatives, Washington, District 4, 1998, 2000, 2002, 2008, 2014
  • Candidate, United States Senate, Washington, 2004, 2006

Religious, Civic, and other Memberships

  • BA, Political Science, Central Washington University, 2000
  • Attended, Political Science, Central Washington University, 1993
  • Attended, Yakima Valley Community College, 1975-1976
  • President/Chief Executive Officer/Full Corporate Offer, Gordon 4-M-J Nation
  • Employee, Washington Department of Agriculture, Japanese Ministries of Fisheries, Forestry, and Agriculture, 1994
  • Served, United States Army, Aviation Division, 1983-1987
  • Construction Worker, Joel Smith Family Log Home, 1983
  • Cutter Iron Worker, Mountain Aire Wood Stoves, 1978
  • Hay Buck, Frank Gregerich and Sons, 1975-1977
  • Fire Fighter, Federal Forest Service, 1971-1972
  • Candidate, United States House of Representatives, Washington, District 10, 2020
  • Candidate, United States House of Representatives, Washington, District 8, 2018
  • Candidate, United States House of Representatives, Washington, District 4, 1998, 2000, 2002, 2008, 2014
  • Candidate, United States Senate, Washington, 2004, 2006
  • Founder, Central Washington University Fencing Association
  • Member, Phi Sigma Alpha
Policy Positions

2021

Abortion

1. Do you generally support pro-choice or pro-life legislation?
- Unknown Position

Budget

1. In order to balance the budget, do you support an income tax increase on any tax bracket?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support expanding federal funding to support entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare?
- Unknown Position

Campaign Finance

1. Do you support the regulation of indirect campaign contributions from corporations and unions?
- Unknown Position

Defense

Do you support increasing defense spending?
- Unknown Position

Economy

1. Do you support federal spending as a means of promoting economic growth?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support lowering corporate taxes as a means of promoting economic growth?
- Unknown Position

3. Do you support providing financial relief to businesses AND/OR corporations negatively impacted by the state of national emergency for COVID-19?
- Unknown Position

Education

1. Do you support requiring states to adopt federal education standards?
- Unknown Position

Energy and Environment

1. Do you support government funding for the development of renewable energy (e.g. solar, wind, geo-thermal)?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support the federal regulation of greenhouse gas emissions?
- Unknown Position

Guns

1. Do you generally support gun-control legislation?
- Unknown Position

Health Care

1. Do you support repealing the 2010 Affordable Care Act ("Obamacare")?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support requiring businesses to provide paid medical leave during public health crises, such as COVID-19?
- Unknown Position

Immigration

1. Do you support the construction of a wall along the Mexican border?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support requiring immigrants who are unlawfully present to return to their country of origin before they are eligible for citizenship?
- Unknown Position

National Security

1. Should the United States use military force to prevent governments hostile to the U.S. from possessing a weapon of mass destruction (for example: nuclear, biological, chemical)?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support reducing military intervention in Middle East conflicts?
- Unknown Position

Trade

1. Do you generally support removing barriers to international trade (for example: tariffs, quotas, etc.)?
- Unknown Position

Congressional Election 1998 National Political Awareness Test

Abortion

Indicate which principles you support (if any) concerning abortion.

1. Abortions should always be legally available.
- No Answer

2. Abortions should be legal only within the first trimester of pregnancy.
- No Answer

3. Abortions should be legal only when the pregnancy resulted from incest, rape, or when the life of the woman is endangered.
- No Answer

4. Abortions should be legal only when the life of the woman is endangered.
- No Answer

5. Abortions should always be illegal.
- X

6. Abortions should be limited by waiting periods and notification requirements as decided by each state government.
- No Answer

7. Prohibit the late-term abortion procedure known as "partial-birth" abortion.
- No Answer

8. Prohibit public funding of abortions and public funding of organizations that advocate or perform abortions.
- No Answer

9. Other
- No Answer

Budget and Spending

Indicate what levels of federal funding you support for the following categories. Select one number (level) only.2) Indicate what levels of federal funding you support for the following defense-related categories. Select one number (level) only.4) Indicate how you would apply the expected federal budget surplus.

1. AIDS programs
- Slightly Increase

2. Arts funding
- Maintain Status

3. Education (K-12)
- Greatly Increase

4. Environmental programs
- Slightly Increase

5. Foreign aid
- Slightly Decrease

6. Housing projects
- Slightly Increase

7. Job training programs
- Slightly Increase

8. Law enforcement
- Slightly Decrease

9. Medicaid
- Maintain Status

10. Medicare
- No Answer

11. NASA
- Maintain Status

12. Student loan programs
- Greatly Increase

13. Welfare
- Slightly Decrease

14. Other
- X

15. Armed Forces personnel training
- Slightly Decrease

16. CIA appropriations
- Slightly Decrease

17. Defense plant conversion
- Maintain Status

18. Development of new weapons
- Slightly Decrease

19. Military hardware
- Slightly Decrease

20. Military space shuttle missions
- Slightly Increase

21. National Missile Defense Program
- Maintain Status

22. Pay for active duty personnel
- Slightly Increase

23. Do you support amending the U.S. Constitution to require an annual balanced federal budget?
- No

Indicate what levels of federal funding you support for the following categories. Select one number (level) only.2) Indicate what levels of federal funding you support for the following defense-related categories. Select one number (level) only.4) Indicate how you would apply the expected federal budget surplus.

1. Social Security
- X

2. Tax cuts
- No Answer

3. Federal debt reduction
- No Answer

Campaign Finance Reform

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding campaign finance reform.

1. Remove all legislative limits on campaign financing.
- No Answer

2. Establish spending limits on congressional campaigns.
- X

3. Provide public funding for federal candidates who comply with campaign spending limits.
- X

4. Support legislation that would increase the federal limits on individual contributions.
- No Answer

5. Strengthen and enforce legislation that encourages full and timely disclosure of campaign finance information.
- X

6. Prohibit Political Action Committee (PAC) contributions to candidates for federal office.
- X

7. Provide free or low-cost television advertising to candidates who agree to voluntary campaign spending limits.
- X

8. Ban the unregulated campaign contributions known as soft money.
- No Answer

9. Pass legislation banning issue advocacy commercials by outside groups within 60 days of an election.
- No Answer

10. Prohibit non-U.S. citizens from making contributions to federal campaigns.
- No Answer

11. Other
- No Answer

Crime

Indicate which principles you support (if any) to address crime.

1. Broaden use of the death penalty for federal crimes.
- No Answer

2. Increase spending to build more federal prisons.
- No Answer

3. Impose "truth in sentencing" for violent criminals so they serve full sentences with no chance of parole.
- No Answer

4. Fund programs to provide prison inmates with vocational and job-related skills and job-placement assistance when released.
- X

5. Expand funding for community policing programs.
- No Answer

6. Increase penalties for the possession of any illegal firearms.
- No Answer

7. Prosecute youths accused of a felony as adults.
- No Answer

8. Increase funding for local Boys & Girls Clubs and other independent organizations in communities with at-risk youth.
- X

9. Reduce prison sentences for those who commit non-violent crimes.
- No Answer

10. Deport all permanent resident aliens convicted of a felony.
- No Answer

11. Other
- No Answer

Drugs

Indicate which principles you support (if any) concerning illegal drugs.

1. Increase penalties for selling illegal drugs.
- No Answer

2. Impose mandatory jail sentences for selling illegal drugs.
- No Answer

3. Impose capital punishment for convicted international drug traffickers.
- No Answer

4. Strengthen current laws dealing with non-controlled substances, including inhalants and commercially available pills.
- No Answer

5. Increase funding of federally-sponsored drug education and drug treatment programs.
- X

6. Decriminalize the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes.
- No Answer

7. Increase funding for border security to stop the flow of illegal drugs into the U.S.
- X

8. Other
- No Answer

Economy and Employment

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding the economy and employment.2) Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding affirmative action and discrimination.

1. Provide tax credits for companies that move job-creating industries into areas with high unemployment.
- No Answer

2. Increase funding for national job-training programs that re-train displaced workers or teach skills needed in today's job market.
- No Answer

3. Reduce government regulations on the private sector in order to encourage investment and economic expansion.
- No Answer

4. Establish empowerment zones in areas with large numbers of unemployed people.
- No Answer

5. Eliminate any federal programs designed to reduce unemployment.
- No Answer

6. Increase the minimum wage.
- No Answer

7. Pass legislation that encourages employers to offer their employees the options of flex-time scheduling, comp-time and unpaid leave to attend to their family responsibilities.
- X

8. Provide tax credits for businesses that provide on-site child care.
- No Answer

9. The federal government should consider race and sex in making government contracting decisions.
- No Answer

10. The federal government should continue affirmative action programs only if such programs do not include quotas.
- No Answer

11. The federal government should discontinue affirmative action programs.
- No Answer

12. The federal government should prosecute cases of discrimination in the public sector.
- X

13. The federal government should prosecute cases of discrimination in the private sector.
- X

14. The federal government should include sexual orientation in its anti-discrimination laws.
- No Answer

15. Other
- No Answer

Education

Indicate which principles you support (if any) concerning education.

1. Support national standards and testing in reading and math.
- No Answer

2. Allow parents to use vouchers to send their children to any publicly funded school.
- No Answer

3. Allow parents to use vouchers to send their children to any participating school: public, private or religious.
- No Answer

4. Allow parents to use tax-free savings accounts to send their children to any publicly funded school.
- X

5. Allow parents to use tax-free savings accounts to send their children to any participating school: public, private or religious.
- X

6. Support creation of more charter schools where teachers and professionals receive authorization and funding to establish new schools.
- No Answer

7. Give all federal education funding to states in the form of block grants and allow them to spend it as they see fit.
- No Answer

8. Support voluntary teacher testing and reward teachers with merit pay.
- No Answer

9. Increase funding for block grants to states to help them hire additional teachers.
- No Answer

10. Other
- No Answer

11. Do you support amending the U.S. Constitution to guarantee the right to religious expression and voluntary prayer in public places, including schools?
- No

Environment

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding America's environment and natural resources.

1. Require the state to fully compensate citizens when environmental regulations limit uses on privately owned land.
- No Answer

2. Strengthen the Clean Water Act.
- X

3. Change the Endangered Species Act of 1973 to limit the number of habitats eligible to be designated as endangered.
- No Answer

4. Increase fees charged to ranchers who graze cattle on federal lands.
- No Answer

5. Revise the 1872 mining law to increase the fees charged to mining companies using federal lands.
- No Answer

6. Encourage development of alternative fuels to reduce pollution.
- X

7. Strengthen emission controls on all gasoline or diesel powered engines, including cars and trucks.
- X

8. Increase federal taxes on gasoline and diesel fuels to promote conservation and alternative fuel development.
- No Answer

9. Promote the selling of pollution credits between nations to encourage industries to decrease pollution levels.
- X

10. Impose stricter national air quality standards.
- X

11. Adhere to the United Nations treaty regarding global climate change.
- No Answer

12. Strengthen the restrictions on clear-cutting on federal lands.
- No Answer

13. Other
- No Answer

Federalism

Indicate which level of government that should have primary responsibility for the following services. Select one level only.

1. Border security
- Federal

2. Civil rights enforcement
- Local

3. Education
- Local

4. Environmental cleanup
- Local

5. Job training
- Local

6. Law enforcement
- Local

7. Low-income housing
- Local

8. Medicaid
- Federal

9. Medicare
- Federal

10. Transportation infrastructure (highways, roads, bridges)
- State

11. Welfare
- Federal

12. Other
- No Answer

Foreign Policy

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding Bosnia/former Yugoslavia.2) Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding the Middle East.3) Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding the United States-United Nations relationship.

1. The U.S. should lift the arms embargo against Bosnia-Herzegovina.
- No Answer

2. The U.S. should maintain a military presence in Bosnia-Herzegovina with a certain deadline for withdrawal.
- No Answer

3. The U.S. should maintain a military presence in Bosnia-Herzegovina without a certain deadline for withdrawal.
- No Answer

4. Other
- No Answer

5. The U.S. should resolve future disputes with Iraq through diplomatic means.
- X

6. The U.S. should take unilateral military action if Iraq does not comply with all accepted UN resolutions.
- No Answer

7. The U.S. should take military action against Iraq only as part of an international effort.
- No Answer

8. The U.S. should not continue to play a prominent leadership role in the peace process between Israel and Palestine.
- No Answer

9. The U.S. should contribute more funding and troops to United Nations peacekeeping missions.
- No Answer

10. The U.S. should contribute less funding and troops to United Nations peacekeeping missions.
- No Answer

11. The U.S. should participate in UN peacekeeping missions only when vital U.S. interests are involved.
- No Answer

12. The U.S. should not commit military troops to UN peacekeeping missions.
- No Answer

13. The U.S. should withdraw from the UN completely.
- No Answer

14. The U.S. should pay its debt to the United Nations.
- X

15. Should the U.S. have diplomatic and trade relations with Cuba?
- Yes

16. Should the U.S. recognize and extend full diplomatic relations to Taiwan?
- No Answer

Gun

Indicate which principles you support (if any) concerning gun issues.

1. Ban the sale or transfer of all forms of semi-automatic weapons.
- No Answer

2. Increase federal restrictions on the purchase and possession of firearms.
- No Answer

3. Maintain federal restrictions on the purchase and possession of firearms.
- No Answer

4. Ease federal restrictions on the purchase and possession of firearms.
- X

5. Repeal federal restrictions on the purchase and possession of firearms by law-abiding citizens.
- X

6. Favor allowing citizens to carry concealed firearms.
- X

7. Require manufacturers to provide child-safety locks with firearms.
- No Answer

8. Other
- No Answer

Health

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding health issues in America.

1. The federal government has no responsibility in providing health care.
- No Answer

2. Implement a universal health care program to guarantee coverage to all Americans regardless of income.
- No Answer

3. Implement a government-financed, single-payer national health care system similar to that of Canada.
- X

4. Support health care strategies focused on prevention, including health education and natural medicines and remedies.
- X

5. Support legislation to define and enforce the rights of insured patients, including greater access to specialists and emergency rooms, wider choice of health care providers, and appeal mechanisms when claims are denied.
- X

6. Allow small business owners, the self-employed and workers whose employers do not provide health insurance to have the same deductibility for health costs as corporations and large employers.
- X

7. Expand eligibility for tax-free medical savings accounts, which would be taxed if used for any purpose other than medical costs.
- X

8. Establish limits on the amount of damages awarded in medical malpractice lawsuits.
- No Answer

9. Allow states and local communities to use federal funds for needle-exchange programs to combat the spread of HIV.
- No Answer

10. Classify nicotine as a drug and cigarettes as drug delivery devices, which should be regulated by the Federal Food and Drug Administration.
- No Answer

11. Provide citizens age 55-65 the option of purchasing Medicare health coverage.
- No Answer

12. Other
- No Answer

Immigration

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding immigration.

1. Decrease the number of immigrants allowed into the country.
- No Answer

2. Increase the eligibility of legal immigrants for certain social programs (i.e. HUD housing, food stamps).
- No Answer

3. Require the Immigration and Naturalization Service to reduce to six months the time between applying for citizenship and taking the oath of allegiance.
- No Answer

4. Provide extra federal aid to states with higher numbers of immigrants for necessary medical and social services.
- No Answer

5. Prohibit states from passing laws that deny human services (medical care, education) to illegal immigrants or their children.
- No Answer

6. Children of illegal immigrants, born in the United States, should not automatically receive U.S. citizenship.
- X

7. Increase the immigration quota for computer scientists and other information technology workers.
- No Answer

8. Establish English as the official and recognized language of the United States government.
- X

9. Other
- No Answer

Social Security

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding Social Security.

1. Allow workers to invest a portion of their payroll tax in private accounts which they manage.
- No Answer

2. Allow workers to invest a portion of their payroll tax in private accounts which are managed by the government.
- No Answer

3. Invest Social Security's assets collectively in stocks and bonds instead of U.S. Treasury securities.
- No Answer

4. Increase the payroll tax to finance the program in its current form.
- No Answer

5. Invest a portion of the budget surplus into the Social Security trust fund.
- No Answer

6. Increase the minimum age that determines when retirees are able to receive full Social Security benefits.
- No Answer

7. Lower Social Security's annual cost-of-living increases.
- No Answer

8. Limit Social Security benefits based on recipients' other income and assets.
- No Answer

9. Require individuals to pay the Social Security tax on income above $68,400, which is currently exempt.
- X

10. Other
- No Answer

Taxes

Indicate the levels you support concerning taxes in the following categories. Select one number (level) only.Income Taxes:Other Tax Issues:

1. Retiree income over $40,000
- Greatly Decrease

2. Family income less than $25,000
- Greatly Decrease

3. Family income $25-75,000
- Greatly Decrease

4. Family income $75-150,000
- Greatly Decrease

5. Family income over $150,000
- Greatly Decrease

6. Alcohol Taxes
- Greatly Decrease

7. Capital Gains Taxes
- Greatly Decrease

8. Charitable deductions
- Greatly Decrease

9. Child tax credit
- Greatly Decrease

10. Cigarette Taxes
- Greatly Decrease

11. Corporate income taxes
- Greatly Decrease

12. Earned Income Tax Credit
- Greatly Decrease

13. Estate taxes
- Greatly Decrease

14. Medical expense deductions
- Greatly Decrease

15. Mortgage deductions
- Greatly Decrease

16. Other
- No Answer

17. Do you support replacing the U.S. income tax structure with a flat income tax?
- Yes

18. Do you support eliminating the Internal Revenue Service?
- Yes

19. Do you support instituting a national sales tax?
- Yes

20. Should a married couple filing jointly pay the same taxes as if they were an unmarried couple filing separately?
- Yes

21. Do you support requiring a super-majority vote in both houses of Congress to raise taxes?
- Yes

22. Other
- No Answer

Term Limits

If you support term limits, how many terms should each serve?

1. Do you support amending the Constitution to limit the number of terms which members of Congress can serve?
- No

2. Senator (# of 6 yr. terms)
- No Answer

3. Representatives (# of 2 yr. terms)
- No Answer

Trade

1. Do you support the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA)?
- Undecided

2. Do you support broadening NAFTA to include other countries in the western hemisphere?
- Undecided

3. Do you support the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT)?
- Undecided

4. Do you support the World Trade Organization (WTO)?
- Undecided

5. Do you support imposing tariffs on products imported from nations that maintain restrictive trade barriers on American products?
- Undecided

6. Should a nation's human rights record affect its "most favored nation" trading status with the United States?
- Undecided

7. Do you support granting the President "fast-track" authority?
- Undecided

Welfare and Poverty

Indicate which principles you support (if any) regarding poverty and the welfare system.

1. Provide tax incentives for companies to hire and train homeless people who want to work.
- X

2. Increase funding of homeless shelters and low income housing projects.
- No Answer

3. Increase funds for housing assistance for welfare recipients who need housing to get or keep a job.
- X

4. Provide homeless families with apartment vouchers they can use to supplement the cost of an apartment.
- No Answer

5. Continue to give states and local governments responsibility for welfare programs through block grants.
- No Answer

6. Eliminate federal funds for welfare programs at the federal, state or local levels.
- No Answer

7. Maintain current welfare-to-work requirements in order for states to qualify for block grants.
- X

8. Convert government-funded low-income housing projects into private housing, managed and owned by the residents.
- No Answer

9. Require that unwed teenage mothers live with a parent or guardian (if possible) and attend school to receive benefits.
- X

10. Other
- No Answer

2019

Abortion

1. Do you generally support pro-choice or pro-life legislation?
- Unknown Position

Budget

1. In order to balance the budget, do you support an income tax increase on any tax bracket?
- Unknown Position

2. In order to balance the budget, do you support reducing defense spending?
- Unknown Position

Campaign Finance

1. Do you support the regulation of indirect campaign contributions from corporations and unions?
- Unknown Position

Economy

1. Do you support federal spending as a means of promoting economic growth?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support lowering corporate taxes as a means of promoting economic growth?
- Unknown Position

Education

1. Do you support requiring states to adopt federal education standards?
- Unknown Position

Energy & Environment

1. Do you support government funding for the development of renewable energy (e.g. solar, wind, thermal)?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support the federal regulation of greenhouse gas emissions?
- Unknown Position

Guns

1. Do you generally support gun-control legislation?
- Unknown Position

Health Care

1. Do you support repealing the 2010 Affordable Care Act ("Obamacare")?
- Unknown Position

Immigration

1. Do you support the construction of a wall along the Mexican border?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support requiring immigrants who are unlawfully present to return to their country of origin before they are eligible for citizenship?
- Unknown Position

Marijuana

Do you support the legalization of marijuana for recreational purposes?
- Unknown Position

National Security

1. Should the United States use military force in order to prevent governments hostile to the U.S. from possessing a nuclear weapon?
- Unknown Position

2. Do you support increased American intervention in Middle Eastern conflicts beyond air support?
- Unknown Position

Articles

Tri-City Herald - Longshot Candidate Maintains Structural Integrity of Taco Stand

Aug. 1, 2008

Tri-City Herald - Longshot Candidate Maintains Structural Integrity of Taco Stand I recently joked that I'd need a translator to help with my interview of Ellensburg Republican Gordon Allen Pross, a perennial candidate who is taking yet another shot at U.S. Rep. Doc Hastings, R-Pasco. Well, it's too late. I talked with Pross at length this week and have been left with loads of material. Below I've posted some of his best quotes. But before we get to that I'd direct you to his campaign website where he lists "statesman" as one of his five occupations. I wonder what that pays? Under the heading "family" he lists "Pro," "Middle Child," and "Biblically Single." The website indicates he tried to run for president last year but his campaign was met with censorship. It was the first I'd heard of his campaign. Across the bottom of one of the pages on his site is this statement: "GORDON ALLEN PROSS HAS 4 BILLION PEOPLE AGREEING WITH HIS POLICY OF EQUALITY FOR HUMANITY." So, long story short, he's feeling pretty confident about his chances this fall. Here's a sampling of his best quotes. — "Because, it's like this Chris," Pross explained in an e-mail. "Shake, make, or bake someone else's taco stand! Mine is intact!" — When asked what he did to promote his presidential campaign Pross wouldn't say because he's writing a book. "This is work product. You're going to have to buy it." — Who was censoring his campaign? It turns out he tried to get on The Colbert Report but was rebuffed. "They wouldn't even hear it," Pross said. "I know why. Because we are the answer team." — Will he run again? "I don't see why not. This is the only country where anybody can be president. We've seen that. Look at Clinton." — In discussing corruption Pross said "You got the Enrons and you got the Freddie Mae and whatever the heck..." — On running for Congress: "Who wants to do this?" Pross asks. "You gotta be hangin' 10." When reminded he is running for Congress he laughed and said "yeah, I'm hangin' 10." — Pross on how he's getting excited talking about his campaign: "The hair is standing up on my head right now. I can feel it between my ears." — "I'll spend your taxes on YOU... on YOU brother!" — "Doc Hastings runs his campaign off a boxcar of peanuts. I run my campaign off the aroma of peanuts."

Tri-City Herald - Wanted: Translator for Candidate Interview

Jul. 23, 2008

I was scheduled to call Ellensburg Republican and perenial candidate Gordon Allen Pross this morning to discuss his campaign for the U.S. House. But instead I got an e-mail telling me (I think) that he had to cancel. It's probably just as well because, based on the e-mail, it's clear I may have needed a translator anyhow. Here's the e-mail. "Sir Christopher, I regret to inform you that our 10:15 landline pass will have to be overrode in abeyance or terminated. Due to my position as an Ordained Presby Deacon serving this morning to bring an elderly citizen to their physician. The most relevant issue for my attendance is as an interpreter to convey two recent stays in the hospital. (As an elocutionist): emergent issues to peruse over charts so nothing, so nothing is lost in semantic translation from misguided locutionary, prelocutionary, illocutionary utterances, nuance, inflection, gesture and the Holy like. GORDONATOR Glory is not a destination it is a adventure... I'll try to wheel my water buffalo shoe horn out to squeeze you in to a space so humanity may have an opportunity to see what side of Glory Chris Mulkin is on..." BLOGGER'S NOTE: If by "Chris Mulkin" Pross, or the Gordonator, means "Chris Mulick" then giddyup. I'm curious to see what side of glory I'm on, too.